


Fifteen

by supershadsy



Series: Think About Me [6]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Christmas, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 08:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershadsy/pseuds/supershadsy
Summary: A snapshot journey through Christmas time, through the years, with familiar faces.AnotherThink About Mespinoff.





	1. 1983

**Author's Note:**

> We're doing this in chronological order, folks!

Faint Christmas music echoed from outside of the den as Genesis stared at his bounty of presents. There was so _much._ Piles of slacks and sweaters, too warm for even the dead of January in Banora. At least three calculator watches. An NES, with all the games it had, including some doubles. Piles of VHS tapes, many movies he’d never heard of, and boxes of floppy discs for computer games. Candy, gift baskets, more clothes…

Genesis’ vision blurred in boredom. _This sucks._

He stood up, kicked over a pile of presents, then wandered upstairs to his bedroom. He lifted up the mattress, where he yanked out a plastic bag full of already rolled blunts. Pulling two out, he stuck one behind his ear and the other between his lips as he lunged for the lighter on his dresser. _I wonder how much I can get for all this shit,_ he thought, lighting the end of the blunt in his mouth. _If I can trade the computer, I’ll have enough weed for a year…I mean, not if I smoke through it, but…_

He took a drag, then leaned over to blow it out the window. He was one step away from the door frame when it hit him. _Ah…_

Genesis grinned to himself as the familiar fog washed over him. _Merry Christmas to me._ He giggled.

His gait back down the stairs into the den was much, much slower, but he made it without tripping. As a reward, he took another hit, not bothering to find an exit for the pungent smoke. He waved it away from his face and plunked back down in front of the pile. _At least there isn’t a fucking subscription to “Business Weekly” like a couple years ago. Unless it’s buried in the shit._ He flipped over piles of ripped wrapping paper, tossing it aside. _Don’t even know who gave me any of this…Mom and Dad’s rich friends?_

The bustle continued outside of the den. _Who has a company Christmas party on fucking Christmas…half family, half employees, half of the employees_ are _family, all with high positions…_ He stared at the door handle for a moment, trying to decipher voices. He watched his hand reach out, slowly, fingers grasping along the smooth gold,

twist,

and then open.

The voices became more clear.

“Ending the year on a high note, huh? Even with the cold spell, the winter harvest didn’t blight the dumbapples…”

“Oh, where is young master Rhapsodos? I don’t think I’ve seen him at all this evening…”

“…think he’s been given up on. If they wanted a heir to the company, they would’ve sent him away to Midgar, wouldn’t keep him here.”

“…lost cause. They say he’s starting to dabble into drugs, and he never listens to anyone…”

“What a pity…then who will the company go to?”

“They’ll hold onto it as long as they can, he’ll be eighty before he steps down…oh, and there are plenty in the family who want the seat more than he does…”

“How old is he?”

“Old enough to show whether he wants to take the company or not. They say they gave up on him after he turned ten…”

“Fifteen is still young…”

“Fifteen is too old…he’s a burnout already--”

Genesis slammed the door, and scowled at it, his blunt still smoking. _Fuck all of you._ Then, he looked behind him at his pile of goodies. _What am I gonna do with all this bullshit…_

_…ah. I know._

* * *

 

_“You’re gonna take that little old thing?”_

_“I like it. It has character.”_

The TV crackled in the living room, barely audible over the sound of running water. Angeal looked at the dopey tree held by Charlie Brown on the screen, then over to the modest on in their own living room. It had popcorn garland, some simple bulbs, and an angel as a topper. It made the room smell of fresh pine, a scent pleasant to his nostrils. There were no presents beneath it, but behind it still sat his father’s sword, towering almost as tall as the tree, polished to perfection. Cross-legged, Angeal rocked back on the carpet to get a better look. _One more year, Dad,_ he thought. _Then…I’ll be able to sign up and carry on the tradition. Another Hewley in SOLIDER. Then, I’ll be able to help Mom out--_

A knock at the door dragged him out of his thoughts. From the kitchen, the water shut off abruptly. “Who on earth would be knocking on Christmas day?” she muttered, shaking her hands off in the sink. She wiped them on her day dress before opening the door. A chilly gust swept in, prickling goosebumps on Angeal in his short-sleeved shirt as he craned back to watch. “Oh…!”

“Merry…merry Christmas, Mrs. H,” a familiar voice said. “I…eh heh heh…um, is Angeal here? I’m just…ah, I brought, y’know…I got stuff.”

“Gen?” Angeal scrambled to his feet, biting back a grin that was rising to his face. _That idiot is high on Christmas? ‘Course, when is he not._ He rushed to the front door to see Genesis in a red, puffy jacket, unzipped, dragging an overflowing sled behind him in the thin glaze of snow. “Dude, what are you--”

“Hey…!” Genesis’ face burst into a lazy grin. “Merry Christmas, man…”

Angeal’s mother giggled, then gestured inside. “You can come in, hon. We’re not doing anything special,” she said. “I’m just finishing up dishes from earlier…”

“Mm’kay,” Genesis said. He stared at his feet, then seemed to will them to go one in front of the other to step through the door, sled coming with him. “I was gonna call, but then…then…” He giggled to himself again. “Dude, I just forgot…”

Angeal frowned at him. _Sometimes when he gets like this, I just wanna shake him._ Then, he turned his attention to the sled. It was filled with random shirts, some gift baskets, some toys, all with wrapping paper half taped to them. “What’s all this?” he asked.

“It’s for you,” Genesis replied, shrugging off his jacket. He sniffed the air. “Did you guys just eat? I’m starving…”

“There are some leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry,” Angeal’s mom replied, back at the sink.

“That’s okay, Mom,” Angeal called back, then returned his attention. “Wh-what do you mean, ‘this is for you’? This is a ton of stuff…”

“I meant what I said, I don’t fuckin’ need it--”

 _“Shh!”_ Angeal hushed him abruptly. “Don’t swear in front of my Mom?”

He blinked dumbly at him, then shook his head with a smirk. “Ah ha…right. Mm’kay. Well, uh…I’m gonna take this to your room, so you can go through it--”

“Dude, I can’t take this!” Angeal exclaimed. “I don’t even know what’s in there…where’d you _get it?”_

“I get a shit--uhhh, a lot of stuff from, oh, I don’t friggin’ know.” Genesis shrugged, slapping his hands against his sides. “I got more sh…stuff…dude, this is really hard, I can’t do this.”

Angeal rolled his eyes, then pushed him into the living room, where he spoke just below the volume of the TV. Genesis was warm and lose beneath his grip, and even giggled as he was pushed. _God._ “Why are you bringing me _your_ presents? That’s stupid. I bet you don’t even know what’s in there.”

Genesis smiled helplessly. “I don’t.” Then, he looked down and away. “Uh, but…I don’t need it, and besides…you should be the one getting stuff, anyway…”

His voice trailed into a mumble. “Aw, c’mon, Gen…” Angeal said, shaking him a little. “I-I don’t need this, I mean…Christmas isn’t about presents anyway, it’s just like…y’know, being with family and people you love, stuff like that.”

Genesis looked up with wide eyes, red around the rims. “Y…yeah? Really?” His mouth dropped a little “Whoa…”

Angeal couldn’t help but snicker. “Did I just blow your mind? You’re kind of a dumbass when you’re stoned, y’know.”

His laugh was silent, but it shook his stomach and his shoulders. “Well, cool then,” he replied. “Then I came to the right place.”

Slowly, Angeal let go of Genesis’ shoulders and watched him weave in place. _Does he…really consider me on that level? I know when I met him, smoked out at the edge of the orchard, I’d only known_ of _him. Then, I discovered that he didn’t really have many friends, not real friends. And sure, he’s loud, and reckless, and he cusses a lot, and he’s always reading that boring book we got assigned like it’s sacred, but…he’s a good guy. And if he’s coming over here, instead of spending the day with his folks, well…_

Angeal tilted his head and opened his arms. “Hey, c’mere. Thanks a lot.”

Genesis’ face broke into a grin as he flopped into Angeal’s arms, hugging him tight and laying his face right into his shoulder. _He really…thinks a lot of me, doesn’t he?_ Angeal patted his back. “Merry Christmas, Gen.”

He inhaled deep. “Merry…Christmas, Ange.”

And even as Angeal was ready to let go, Genesis lingered on his shoulder, eyes closed and humming along to the piano coming from the TV. _Oh, Genesis,_ Angeal thought. _You’re something._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you recall the rough timeline I did, turns out I messed it up _again_ , this time with these two. It's only a year's difference, so it doesn't really matter too much, only to me.
> 
> At this point, Angeal and Genesis have only become close friends for a few months. (And Gen is still all over him, huhu.)


	2. 1986

“Mom!  _ Mom! Look it’s snowing!”  _ Kadaj yelled, jumping on the couch and pointing.  _ “You guys, it’s snowing on Christmas!”  _

_ “Stop yelling!”  _ Yazoo shouted back, then pointed back at their mother. “Mom’s got a headache! You’re too loud!” 

Rubbing her temples from the kitchen table, Jenova sighed. “Listen to your brothers and please quiet down.”

Across from her, Sephiroth sat in silence, wearing a turquoise, handknit sweater and picked at the pancakes on his plate.  _ It itches a little,  _ he thought, finally taking a bite. It was still a little warm, sweet, and fluffy.  _ But a present is a present. At the orphanage, it was always a pair of socks, maybe a single toy if you were younger. I got a few toys, but I hated them all. They weren’t what I wanted. And as I got older, as I watched so many children get adopted before me,  _ especially  _ at Christmas time…I resented the holiday. I still do.  _ He stabbed at his pancakes with more gusto, even though they had been nearly ground into a fluffy pulp.  _ I am smarter than those other children, more handsome, and well behaved when I get my way, so why did it take so long? And why did I get stuck here, with these three… _

“Aw, awesome!” Yazoo exclaimed from the living room. They sat cross-legged in front of a sea of paper. “It’s an Easy-Bake oven! Just like I wanted!” 

“Why do  _ you  _ want an Easy-Bake oven! That’s for girls!” Kadaj retorted. “It’s stupid!” 

“It’s  _ not  _ stupid!” Yazoo replied, hair flying in their face as they scowled. “Mom won’t let me use the big oven, so Santa got me this!” 

“Santa’s not  _ real,  _ y’know!” Kadaj continued to get louder and more adamant. “Kids at school told me! Santa’s a  _ fake,  _ and  _ you’re a big baby!”  _

Loz was peering through the stockings. “If Santa isn’t real, then how do you explain this?” He pointed to a plate of half-eaten cookies. Then, he picked up a felt stocking with “Kadaj” written in fabric pen and opened it up. “Or this?” 

Kadaj blinked. “Huh?” 

Loz pushed the stocking closer to his face, and he ducked his head completely in it. “I-is there… _ coal  _ in here? Real life coal?” 

“You didn’t even check, you dummy.” Loz mashed the stocking over his brother’s head and stood up. “Santa knows how much of a pain in the butt you’ve been, so you got coal.” 

“What?! No!” Kadaj shook his head wildly until the stocking came flying off, knocking an ornament off as it hit the artificial tree. “That’s mean! You stole all my stocking presents and put coal in there!  _ Mom! Loz is being mean to me!”  _

Sephiroth winced at Kadaj’s shrill, childish screech. Jenova rested her head on the kitchen table, and Sephiroth felt some pity as his own head throbbed. “Oh, dear lord,” she muttered. “Every year, it’s like this…”

Sephiroth’s eyes widened. “Every…year?” 

She sat up, wrinkles lining her eyes, the overcast light from outside making her look more tired than he had seen her. “Loz was fine at that age, even quiet…then Yaz was more rambunctious, but this one…” Jenova sighed once again. “He’s a challenge.” 

_ A challenge is right. How can you raise four children on your own?  _ Sephiroth couldn’t help but wonder.  _ What do you get out of it…? They always seem to want and want, they never give anything back… _

_ …I don’t get it.  _

“Oh! Sephiroth? Sephiroth!” Yazoo’s tongue tripped on his name just slightly as he bounded out to the kitchen to set down a package at his feet. “You’ve got more presents!” 

Kadaj was still whimpering crocodile tears, but ceased as soon as he heard Sephiroth’s name. “Ah! Sephy!” He snatched a stocking from the mantle and ran it out, pushing Yazoo out of the way to put it at his feet. “We got you a stocking too!”

Loz followed suit. “There’s this here, too,” he said, offering Sephiroth another gift. 

Sephiroth stared at all of them, frozen in his seat. “What? I already got my present,” he said, tugging at his sweater. 

“Yeah, well, Mom makes one of those for everyone every year. That’s what’s supposed to happen,” Yazoo said matter of factly. Their sweater was a bright red, perfectly tailored to their small, thin frame. Then, they looked to Kadaj. “Hey, why aren’t you wearing yours?” 

“I don’t wanna!” he snapped, crossing his arms over his robot pajamas. 

Loz was also wearing his sweater, dark green, and he pushed Kadaj over by the head. “Dude, wear your sweater!”

“I don’t wanna! It sucks! It’s itchy!” Kadaj pouted. 

“But it’s warm!” Yazoo insisted, hugging themself. 

Sephiroth stayed silent as the three bickered among themselves. Then, he looked to Jenova, who was watching them with a thin smile on her face.  _ Even though they’re so loud, and troublesome…she still loves them. They’re her sons, after all.  _

As he glanced at his presents, still unwrapped, he bit his lip.  _ Am I…a part of this family now? Is that what this…after so long?  _ Suddenly, his throat stung.  _ Ah… _

“Th…” he started, voice drowning in the sea of noise. But, it was still made present, as the others died down as he lifted his head up. His long silver hair brushed the sides of his face, and his seafoam colored eyes swam. “Thank you. Thank you.” 

Jenova’s smile widened into something more. “You’re welcome, dear,” she said. “Merry Christmas, Sephiroth.” 

He nodded, clenching his fists in his lap. In the silence, he could feel his own heart pound.

It only lasted a second, as Kadaj toddled up to him and hugged him on the chair. “Merry Christmas, Sephy!” he chirped. “Yaaay!” 

Even with the emotion at the front of his head, Sephiroth couldn’t help but scowl. “Don’t…call me that,” he grumbled. Kadaj’s hands were sticky, somehow, and he squirmed under his hug. 

“Yeah, merry Christmas, big bro!” Yazoo hugged him next, around his other side. “Loz, c’mon!”

“Okay.” Loz hugged him around the back of the chair, barely getting his arms around to Sephiroth’s shoulders. 

“See, that’s what I like to see,” Jenova said, standing up. “Look at you, all getting along.” She walked backwards with glee glittering in her blue-green eyes. “Hang on, let me get the camera…” 

“Why?  _ Maaa!”  _ Kadaj crowed. He tried to dash off, but Loz reached around and grabbed him by the band of his pajama pants to stay still.  _ “Loz!”  _

Luckily, Jenova was back with a Polaroid camera in her hands. “You know something,” she said, turning on the switch. “This is probably the best gift of all.” 

“Huh?” Yazoo said, tilting their head. “I thought you said you wanted a new set of Teflon pans…” 

She giggled to herself and shook her head. “Okay, boys, everyone smile! Say cheese!” 

The chorus of  _ “cheese”  _ rang so enthusiastically in Sephiroth’s ears, that he winced instead of smiled, but Jenova laughed nonetheless. The flash went off in a blinding light, and as soon as the machine cranked out the photo, the three siblings rushed over to their mother’s side to look at the picture. “Mom, you gotta wave it! It’ll dry faster!” “Kadaj, don’t put your fingers on it before it shows up!” “Wait,  _ wait!”  _

_ This is a family,  _ Sephiroth thought.  _ Wow.  _

He ducked his head down at his half-eaten pancakes, and one tear managed to plop in the middle of his plate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Loz is 9, Yazoo is 7, and Kadaj is 5. This is also Seph's first Christmas with Jenova and the remnants, if that's not already clear.


	3. 1989

Zack Fair stared up at the snowy sky, leaning against his shovel in the driveway. _Man, it sucks to have to shovel on Christmas,_ he thought as snow accumulated on his spiky head. _That’s life in Gongaga for you._

A truck with a plow attached to it slowed down in front of his driveway, and the window rolled down to reveal his father at the wheel. “Hey! Keep at it, Zack!” he shouted.

“I know, I know! I’m just taking a break!” Zack insisted.

“If you keep slacking on the job, you’ll never make SOLDIER!” he called back, then rolled up the window and continued down the road, leaving a side trail of snow in his wake.

“Aw, man…” Zack muttered to himself, and began to hurl snow from the front of the driveway into the sides of the yard. Powder blew back at him with every shovelful. _Of course he pulled the SOLDIER card, of course,_ he thought. _I mean, I’ve always been thinking about it, but the recruiters came by in the fall, and 1st-class Loire did some pretty cool tricks…man, it makes me wanna be in it even more._ His breath left steam in the air, and was beginning to freeze into ice on his thick, blue scarf. _Mom says I have to graduate first, so that kinda sucks…but everyone's gunning for me, so it should be a cinch.  
_

He managed to shovel out a small clearing, but it was already starting to fill with a fine layer of snow. “Jeez, this won’t quit…!” he said to himself. “By the time I finish this, it’s gonna be all snowed over…”

“Need a hand?”

Zack glanced up, and jumped back as he was face to face with Laguna Loire himself, still in his 1st-class uniform, albeit with a black Shinra jacket over it. He was without his weapon--only with a cheeky grin as he ruffled the snow out of Zack’s hair. “What’s up, kid? Need a hand shoveling?”

“Uhhh…” Zack said, glancing back at his house. “My mom and dad told me that _I_ had to do it…”

“There’s a lot of snow here, you’re gonna need a hand,” he said, then grabbed another shovel sitting beside the stairs. “I’ll help you out.”

Effortlessly, Loire began to sweep the snow away from the driveway with incredible speed. _He’s so strong!_ Zack marvelled, looking at his own arms, only bulky due to his jacket. _One day I’m gonna be that strong, too…_

“Just making a couple rounds here before I go see the missus and my kid,” Loire said, without a break in stride. “Say, how old are you? I saw you at the high school assembly…”

“Fifteen, sir,” Zack replied.

Loire only paused to eye him and his height. “Jeez, you’re tall for your age, huh?” he said. “My kid’s a few years younger, he’s 9…” He laughed to himself and flipped the shovel in the air before catching it with one hand and shoveled another pile of snow off. “Santa’s probably already been by over there.”

“Oh, yeah.” Zack was busy trying to keep up with Loire’s pace, but it only tired him out, making his arms burn. “That’s…cool…”

The front door to Zack’s house flew open, and his mother appeared and waved. “Hi, Laguna!” she said. “Are you working on Christmas?”

“Just heading out!” he called back. Zack shook his head in awe, as the driveway was already completely clear in minutes. “Just giving your boy here a hand before I leave!”

“Good! No one should have to work on Christmas,” she replied.

Zack turned around. “Yeah? But what about me? And Dad, too!”

“You’re both helping us out!” she said with a laugh. “And 1st-class Loire, here, too! Hon, do you want some cookies to go?”

“No thank you, Mrs. Fair,” he said. “I’m sure this one does, though. What’s your name again?”

“Zack!” he replied cheerily, flush in his cheeks. “Zack Fair, that’s me!”

“Well, Zack, I’ll see you ‘round, then,” Loire said with a wink. “Maybe I’ll see you in my training squad in a couple years, eh?”

“You bet!” Zack exclaimed, bouncing on his toes. “Later!”

Loire tossed his shovel into the snowbank, then jogged out back out into the snowy streets with a wave. _SOLDIER are so cool,_ Zack thought. _They help people out and stuff…keep everybody safe. I wanna be like that too! I wanna be a cool guy…_

“Hey, Zack, c’mon in, I’ve got some corn chowder ready for you,” his mother said. “And Stacie called to wish you a merry Christmas, I told her you’d call her back.”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, totally!” Zack threw down his shovel and ran over to the stairs. There was ice beneath all of the snow, however, and his feet slipped from underneath him, and he fell flat on his back. _“Ow!”_

“Careful there, pup!” Mrs. Fair laughed. “I know you get excited about your girlfriend, but don’t get too carried away! Are you okay?”

Zack rubbed his rear. “Yeah, I’m fine, Ma…” But, he still chuckled as he stumbled to his feet, more careful as he mounted the porch stairs into the house. _Gotta call her back, see if she opened the little present I got her with my snow shoveling money…_

Mrs. Fair stepped aside as Zack came in, practically shaking the snow off his jacket, and he bent down to kiss her cheek. “Merry Christmas,” he said with a grin.

“Ooh! You’re chilly!” she said. “Get undressed and warm up, I’ll put your chowder on the table. You’ll need it for later.”

“For later?” he asked, pulling the scarf off his neck. “What for? Aren’t we just gonna do presents after Dad gets home?”

“Yeah, but the TV says we’re supposed to get another foot of snow before the day’s over,” she said. “So you’re gonna have to shovel again, kiddo.”

“What?!” Zack said, his shoulders slumping. “Aww, man! More shoveling…” He fluffed his damp, snowy hair and sighed to himself. _Oh, well. Merry Christmas to me…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zack is spending his Christmas like I spent mine, incidentally. I got a foot of snow in my home town!


	4. 1991

The temperature in Midgar had reached a record zero degrees, the coldest winter in fifty years, but people were still out the night before Christmas in the shops around Sector 4. Many people rushed out of stores, holding bags of gifts, even minutes before the stores closed. And outside of the stores, Aerith stood beside her charity donation pot, fiercely ringing her bell.  _ Only a few more minutes,  _ she thought to herself, curling her toes inside her shoes.  _ Then no more bell ringing…I swear, I can hear it in my sleep.  _

A mother and child walked out of a store, and upon seeing Aerith bundled in a hat and scarf, placed a gil piece into her son’s hand. He ran over and tossed it into the bucket, waving as he went. “Thank you!” Aerith chirped. “Merry Christmas! Happy new year!” 

She grinned as the little boy waved and grinned, but soon had to cover her face and cough, pausing in her bell ringing.  _ My cough is getting worse…it’s the cold air that hurts it…  _ She swallowed hard, then continued her bell ringing. She bounced around the bucket to keep her legs warm, even as her thighs felt almost completely numb.  _ I can’t wait to get back to my blanket and snuggle in… _

She looked up toward the Shinra building, a beacon in the center of the city, and watched the huge, LED clock turn from 8:59 to 9:00. “Yes!” she exclaimed, then spun around. The storekeeper was just beginning to lock the door, and she caught his eye before he shut it. “Hey! This is all done!” 

“Okay, let’s see…” The storekeeper peered into her bucket, then took out a small handful of gil and placed it into her outstretched hands. “That’s for you. The rest of this I’ll send off to the charity on Thursday…”

“Thank you!” Aerith said, pocketing the gil. “Have a good holiday!”

“You too, sweetheart,” he said, smiling. “And to your family too, they must be proud of you for working so hard during the holidays.”

Aerith bit her lip, then nodded. “Y-yeah! I…I will.”

With a quick wave, she dashed down the sidewalk, weaving between people all the way until she reached the tunnel leading beneath the plate. When she got there, with no one around her, she gasped for air, and hot tears ran down her cheeks.  _ I wish…I wish I were spending it with my family…but Mom’s gone, now…it’s been almost a year, she’s never coming back… _

She rubbed her eyes fiercely before slowing her pace through the dark, cold streets of lower Midgar, staring down at the sidewalk.  _ And those mean Shinra people boarded up our house…I couldn’t get back in after that man told me to leave.  _ She sniffled again, scanning the alleys.  _ I was alone for a little while after Mom left and never came back…even for Christmas. But this time… _

A pink blanket among milk crates caught her eye, and she turned the corner. She picked up the blanket, revealing a second one bundled with it, and laid it on the concrete. Then, she bundled herself in the second one, bringing her knees up to her chin. She reached up into her ponytail, and pulled out a round, pearl iridescent jewel from her hair tie. She held it between her fingers, covered by fraying gloves. “Mama, I miss you,” she whispered to it. “It’s so lonely on Christmas without you…I-I can go to school, and everything is okay, but when there isn’t any school…”

She trailed off, twirling the jewel. It caught the fluorescent lights coming from the ceiling of the plate and reflected them against the bleak alley. “I got some gil for bell ringing this year. I’ve saved it so…so maybe I can go have something warm on Christmas day. Don’t worry, I make sure I get a little something to eat every day.” 

A shadow passed the alley, and she made herself as still as possible until it passed. When it did, she coughed to clear her throat and continued to whisper. “Maybe I’ll go to the church in Sector 5…the lady who works there is really nice, so I don’t think she’d mind if I stayed there most of they day…” Her lip trembled. “I-it gets really cold…” 

She dipped her head and tapped it against the jewel.  _ Please, please…make next year better than this one. I’m so cold, and hungry, and lonely…but I’m gonna keep my head up, I’m going to keep trying, so please…this is my wish for next Christmas… _

_ …please be better.  _

She took a deep breath, then tucked the jewel back into her hair, then laid down on the ground with only a thin blanket between her and the concrete.  _ Please be better… _

* * *

 

Cloud shook out the tissue paper still clinging to the sweater he’d unwrapped. “I-it looks warm,” he muttered. It looked far too big for his small body, but his fingers curled around the soft, lilac colored fabric, and his lip twitched into a smile. “Thanks, Mama.” 

“Do you like the color?” Ms. Strife was a soft spoken woman, especially around the presence of her equally soft-spoken son, and their quiet made the tea kettle heating on the gas stove sound like the rumble of an engine. “I know you wanted something purple, but it’s kind of--”

“No, it’s great. I like it.” Cloud managed to offer her a smile. “Better than…bright stuff, y’know…”

“It was hard to find something muted. Everything seems like it’s neon colored nowadays…” His mother chuckled. “I even went into the city to look for something, but you can’t get any better than the stuff knit right around here.” 

Cloud nodded.  _ Yeah. Life’s quiet around here.  _ The tea kettle began to whistle, and his mother automatically got up to quell it. He looked past her, outside, where a large tree was set up in the center of town, covered in white string lights.  _ We have our little…traditions. It’s cozy. Everybody knows each other. Everybody has their place. It’s…okay. _

_ For the most part.  _

His arms fell into his lap, and the sweater along with it.  _ I’ve only been to Midgar once or twice, when I was little. I bet it’s changed a ton since then. Things move a lot faster in the big city, don’t they? There are so many people… _

“Cloud? Do you want some tea?” 

He got up at the sound of her voice. “Sure,” he replied. He wandered into the kitchen, where a newspaper was splayed out on the table.  _ “WUTAI WAR ESCALATES: Shinra Spread Thin”  _ read the headline. A full-sized photo of a tall, young man with silver hair looking out over the horizon with his sword in hand was emblazoned the front page. His long hair trailed back in the wind, and even in the muted newspaper print, his eyes seemed to glow like electricity.

Cloud tilted his head to read the caption:  _ “Above: 1st-class Sephiroth Cetra, 20, surveys the situation in the Wutai hillside. He is one of only three generals remaining in the Midgar sector, with numbers dwindling across the outlying regions due to the conflict.”  _

Ms. Strife saw him peering at the photo as she poured the tea, and she sighed. “Awful that they have to put in a story about the war on Christmas day,” she said, flipping the newspaper over to an ad.

_ Sure, but at least it’s Sephiroth,  _ Cloud thought to himself, inhaling the gentle fragrance of the tea.  _ He’s not that much older than me, and he’s already…a hero. He was, what, 19 when he fought an army all by himself and won? Incredible… _

_ What I’d give to be someone like that…someone people could count on… _

_ I’d leave this place… _

_ (“Pussy, faggot, sissy Cloud! What, you think you can fight? C’mon!”) _

_ …and I’d never come back.  _ He clenched his jaw.  _ I can prove that I’m strong, that I’m not…those things they say about me. Next year, next year, when the recruiters come around, I’ll go apply. They need people, right? 16 is as young as you can go, so-- _

“Oh, look, hon, people are starting to gather outside,” Cloud’s mother said, looking out the window with a mug of tea in her hands. “Are you going to go out and carol with them?” 

“Um, I…” Cloud began to fidget. “I-I don’t think I…really want to…”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! You always have fun.” Her tone was gentle, but final. “Go upstairs and get dressed.” 

“Sure…” 

With a heaving sigh, he grabbed his new sweater and trudged up the stairs.  _ It’s all the old ladies from around town mostly, but they’ll all make a fuss if I go out. It’s the same as last year. And the year before.  _ He stripped his shirt and began shuffling around for a pair of jeans.  _ I want to go somewhere where no one knows me…where I can just disappear. I don’t like crowds of people, but if it means that no one notices me…hell, I’ll take it.  _

_ Maybe Midgar is where I’ll try and go when I get recruited…someday… _

As he zipped up his jeans and pulled his sweater over his spiked blond hair, he stood face to face with the Sephiroth poster in his bedroom.  _ I’m gonna make it,  _ he thought toward the poster.  _ I’ll make SOLDIER and serve under 1st-class Sephiroth. Maybe even become 1st-class myself…a general… _

As he smoothed out his sweater, he found himself wandering back toward his window, where a figure walking behind his house caught his eye. Long brown hair, in a brown leather jacket, drawing a pack of cigarettes from them.  _ Oh, that’s her!  _

Adrenaline pumping through his veins, he fumbled to open the window, holding his breath as cold air rushed in. “H-hey!” he called, but it garbled in his throat. He coughed to clear it, then tried again. “Hey! Ti…Tifa?” 

The girl glanced up, huge auburn eyes the focal point of her face, then waved with the hand holding the cigarette pack. “Hey!” she replied. “What’s up?” 

“Merry…Merry Christmas,” Cloud replied, hanging out the window. “Just…y’know, got…uh, finished up here…” He laughed nervously.  _ God, I’m so bad at talking to people. To anyone except my own mother, and even that’s not the best. _

“Merry Christmas to you, too.” Tifa’s smile was genuine, but she fidgeted with the cigarettes in her hand, delaying the time to take them out. “Uh, so…”

_ Right.  _ “H-here, I’ll come down.” 

Socks sliding on the hardwood floors, Cloud dashed downstairs, through the living room like a bolt of lightning. He threw open the closet door and grabbed the first thing he knew was his--a multicolored windbreaker--shuffled out some boots, and hopped on one foot to get them on.  _ Gotta hurry, gotta hurry… _

“Honey, I thought you didn’t want to go out?” Ms. Strife commented. “What’s the rush…?”

“I-I saw…I’m gonna meet up with a friend,” Cloud replied quickly, barely bothering to tie his boots. “Um, I’ll be…I’ll be back later!”

“Okay…” 

When he scrambled out the door, the cold, dry air nearly knocked the wind out of him.  _ Shoot, I should’ve brought a hat.  _ But, Tifa was already on the other side of the house, waiting for him. “That was quick!” she remarked.

“Yeah…” Cloud shuffled over to her, unable to meet her eyes. Instead, he focused on the enormous pine tree at the center of town, people already starting to gather around it. “Are you…were you going to go, uh…” 

“Sing? Oh, God no,” she laughed, finally putting her cigarette to her lips and taking a quick drag. “I don’t sing.” 

“Ah…” He chewed on his peeling lips, hands in his pockets. “Well, um…”

They met each other’s eyes for a fleeting moment, then both found themselves shying away. “I don’t really like Christmas,” Tifa confessed in a mutter. “Ever since my mom passed away, it’s just…” 

She trailed off.  _ I was there. Well, not really,  _ Cloud thought, steam from his breath mingling with the smoke from her cigarette.  _ I was there afterwards, kinda. When she wanted to run away up the mountain, I tried calling her back in the middle of a snowstorm… _

_ Do you have any other family, Tifa? I only see your dad around, and I don’t think you like him that much. That’s why you’re always wandering around town, why you work in that tourist trap over the summer… _

_ …why you’re by yourself on Christmas day.  _

_ Tifa…I want to know you more.  _

“Sorry,” Tifa said suddenly, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean to…haha, didn’t mean to drag you out here like this. I was just taking a walk--”

“No, it’s fine,” Cloud replied. “I was…wasn’t doing anything anyway.” 

The commotion around the tree had settled down, as someone stood in front of the crowd and was handing out sheet music. “Wanna go…watch?” Tifa suggested. “I’m not gonna join in, but…I guess it’s festive.” 

Cloud nodded slowly. His stomach churned with anxiety, but with darting, bright blue eyes, he held out one hand. “Um, one thing, though…”

“Hm?” Tifa tilted her head, brown eyes wide.

“Can…” Cloud sighed. “Can I have a smoke?” 

She snickered, but handed one to him, bundled with a lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aerith, Cloud, and Tifa are all the same age, so they get bundled together. Poor Aerith…this is coming on her first full year being on the streets. Meanwhile, Cloud and Tifa have only become (close) friends within the school year.


	5. 2007

Denzel gasped as he tore open the paper on the tall, suspiciously shaped gift in the very corner of the tree. “Oh, wow!” he exclaimed. “It’s a guitar! A real guitar!” It was a deep blue, with sparkling flecks deep in the paint. The neck of it was jet black, and the inlays between the frets were small, pearl dots.  _ This is so cool…!  _

“You know who that’s from, right?” Zack said, patting his shoulder as he wandered around the tree.

_ Who would give me a guitar?  _ Denzel thought, rifling through his mind.  _ Zack seemed content to let me play his, I’ve asked Mom and Dad before, and they just sorta…didn’t say much about it. So…  _ He stared up at him with wide eyes. “S…Sephiroth?! Did he really?!” 

From the couch, Cloud nodded with Rosie sitting on his lap, playing cheerfully with a doll. “Yup. He dropped it off with me last week,” he said. “You ought to give him a call to say thanks.”

Denzel opened his mouth, then closed it, his face flushing red. “Um…okay,” he muttered. “I guess…I can.” 

“Want me to call, buddy?” Zack asked.

“No, Zack, let him do it,” Tifa insisted, arms crossed. “He’s gotta--”

“This  _ is  _ Sephiroth we’re talking about,” Aerith chimed in. She was in the midst of picking up wrapping paper off the floor. “If this were Grammy, or a teacher, or President Shinra, or  _ literally anyone else--” _

Laughter swelled through the family, even to Rosie, who seemed to join in only for the sake of completing the sound. Zack waved his hand and continued to wander to the kitchen. “It’s okay, I’ll do it. I wanna give him a shout anyway.” 

Still, as he entered the kitchen and picked up the phone, Denzel followed quietly behind, slipping in the doorway. He watched as Zack dialed the number, then hesitated. “Oh, shoot. He goes to his mom’s on Christmas, doesn’t he?” He shrugged. “Oh, well.” 

He held the phone up to his ear and leaned over the sink, waiting.  _ I wanna thank Sephiroth,  _ Denzel thought.  _ I just…don’t want to call him myself. I don’t really like calling people. _

(“Hey, Dez, why do you always wait for me to call you to hang out?” _ Marlene said, her pout audible over the phone.  _ “You can call me sometimes too!” 

_ Denzel fidgeted with his pen on his desk, staring sightlessly down. “W-well…I just, well…” _

“What, is it weird now because we’re older? You don’t wanna  _ kiss  _ me, do you?” 

_ Denzel laughed nervously. “No, no, it’s not weird like that, it’s just…”) _

He puffed out his cheeks.  _ I just hate phone calls.  _

Meanwhile, Zack perked up, standing to his full height. “Yo, Seph! What’s happenin’?” he greeted, his voice booming. “…Yeah, merry Christmas, dude! …Yeah, I know. Didn’t know if you’d be home. …Okay, okay, okay. Dezzie just opened his present. Loves it. …Nope, not yet. Have you taught him anything? Any cool licks?” 

Zack was beaming, but his smile slipped at whatever Sephiroth’s response was. “Ah ha, yeah, guess you’re right. Hey, uh…” His voice dipped low. “You doing okay, man? I know that this is the first Christmas that…” There was a long pause. “…Yup, I knew you’d say something like that. You want us to come over? I can leave Aerith with the kids, if you want. I know Rosie’s a handful, but she’d love to see you.” 

Denzel held his breath.  _ Right, Sephiroth’s…friend, or boyfriend, or whatever…he died a couple months ago. Genesis. I only met him a handful of times…mostly because Sephiroth kept shooing him away when he babysat me. I dunno why.  _

“You sure?” Zack said. “Well, Cloud and I might stop over, anyway. …Cool. …Merry Christmas, Seph. Take it easy.” 

He pressed END on the phone, and set it back on his cradle. “Yeah, yeah, you can act tough all you want, but…” he muttered to himself, but his eyes skated over to Denzel in the doorway.  _ “Ack!  _ Jesus, bud…!” 

“S-sorry…” Denzel said, shrinking into the door. “I thought I might, um…”

But Zack walked over and hugged him. “You’re all right, kiddo,” he said. “Did you really wanna talk to him?” 

“N-no, it’s okay…”  _ Maybe just a ‘thank you’… _

“Well, we’ll get a chance next time.” Zack ruffled his hair again as he stood up straight. “I’m thinking we should pay him a visit. Dude’s probably all holed up in his condo, there…”

“Daddy! C’mere!” Rosie shouted from Cloud’s lap. “Come see!” 

“Yeah, Daddy, c’mere,” Aerith repeated, shuffling over to the two of them in the doorway. 

As she wrapped her arms around Zack with a soft smile, Denzel quickly retreated to the couch, where he bumped into Rosie making a mad dash for her father. “‘S’cuse me!” she chirped, holding her doll by one arm. 

When he plopped on the couch beside Cloud, he let out a long, heavy sigh, prompting Cloud to chuckle. “You’re starting to sound like me,” he remarked. 

Denzel smirked, then leaned against his shoulder. As his father’s arm wrapped around him, he watched Tifa wander in front of the couch with a gentle smile on her face. “Tired?” she asked.

He nodded. “A little,” he replied. His eyes skimmed over to the others at the door. Zack and Aerith were holding each other, while Rosie persistently tried to garner their attention at their legs. “Hey, Rose…” 

“Huh?” she replied, bushy, black hair still a bed-head mess. 

“Are you gonna keep bugging them?” he asked. 

She grinned. “Uh-huh!” she said, then tugged on the side of Zack’s shirt. “Daddy! Pick me up!”

Finally, she was able to attract his attention. With one arm, Zack scooped her up and perched her on his shoulder, all while still keeping one arm around Aerith’s waist. Rosie giggled wildly, tugging on Zack’s long, spiked hair to keep her steady. 

“She’s their kid, all right,” Tifa muttered. “She’s got the puppy energy.” 

Cloud chuckled, and reached out to clasp her hand with his free arm. “I know,” he said. “But, she’s ours, too. We’re all family.” 

They exchanged a look, and Denzel continued to meld into Cloud’s side.  _ We are,  _ he thought, closing his eyes with a smile.  _ We sure are.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks up with the ["Christmas"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11384532/chapters/25493196) short I wrote a while ago in mind. (Except Denzel's age is messed up there…he _should_ be fifteen.) Also fucked with the timeline here, pushing Genesis' death up a little bit. At this point, I think I could call it "fine tweaking".


	6. 2017

Wrapping paper flew into the air, and 15 year-old Rosie Fair jumped up with a box in her hand.  _ “Yes!”  _ she exclaimed. “A Switch! You got me a Switch! Oh, yay yay  _ yay!”  _

She bounced around the room, her hair bouncing along with her. Zack laughed along with her enthusiasm and pointed beneath the tree. “Check it out, there are a couple games under there…” 

But she was already running to his side, and gave him a bear hug that knocked the wind out of him. “Thanks, Dad!” she shouted, then jumped to give the same hug to Aerith beside him. “Thanks, Mom!” 

“You’re welcome, sweets,” Aerith replied, kissing her cheek. She brushed away the single lock of silver white hair away from Rosie’s forehead. “I almost thought you were going to steal Dezzie’s before we could get you your own.” 

“It’s only the best thing ever!” she exclaimed. “Ah…”

She looked around the room.  _ I’ve spent all my Christmases here in this house,  _ she thought suddenly.  _ But something…is missing.  _ Her eyes scanned from Zack, to Aerith, to Tifa sitting on the couch, quiet in her lounging robe.  _ I know.  _

“What’s the matter?” Tifa asked, catching her eye as she thought. 

Rosie set down the box and placed her hands firmly on her hips. “Why do Cloud and Dezzie have to work on Christmas?” she demanded. 

Zack puffed out his cheeks to sigh and slapped his thigh. “Beats me.” He glanced over to Aerith, who took his hand and held it. “No one’s there, hell, even Tseng takes Christmas off--”

“Does he, though?” Aerith asked, squinting. “Does he  _ really?”  _

“I tried…” Tifa started. “I tried, but Cloud insisted someone had to be there. Denzel probably wanted to help cover, and you know how he is about SOLDIER stuff--”

Rosie twisted her mouth. “Damn it,” she said.

“Don’t swear,” Aerith reprimanded. 

She tried again. “Dang it.”

“Better.” 

Rosie twirled around and reached for her phone, then unlocked it and swiped to her text messages. “Well, you know what?” she said. “I’m…gonna make sure…they get here.”

“They’ll be around later,” Tifa said. “I remember Cloud saying he only had a half day--”

“But it’s Christmas  _ morning!  _ That’s the most important part!” She tapped the messages under “Dezzie” and tapped to call. “I’m not even gonna text him. I’m gonna call. Those nerds are probably playing chess in the break room.” 

The three adults on the couch could barely stifle a laugh, although Tifa did the best job to keep a straight face. “Don’t make fun of your brother,” she managed, biting her lip afterwards.

“What?! You know I’m right!” Rosie said.  _ Dezzie and Cloud are real boring sometimes.  _

_ “Hello?”  _ Denzel answered in her ear. 

“Hey!” She jumped to attention, then put her phone on speaker. “Is Cloud there?” 

_ “Uh, yeah, we’re on our break…”  _

“Put the phone on speaker!” Rosie commanded.

_ “O-okay…”  _ The sound shifted slightly, and she could hear the phone clatter as it hit the table.  _ “Uh, Dad, I think we’re in trouble.” _

_ “Is that Rosie?”  _ Cloud said over the phone.

She took a deep breath and mustered a jarringly commanding voice.  _ “1st-class Strife! 2nd-class Strife!”  _

Even over the phone, she could hear the commotion of both of them straightening up in their seats.  _ Straight as a board,  _ she thought with glee.  _ And they probably knocked something over.  _ “So  _ why  _ aren’t you home on Christmas?!”

* * *

 

Cloud rubbed his temples as he stared at Denzel’s smartphone, square in the center of the breakroom table. The chessboard that previously held its place had several pieces knocked over, abandoned due to the interruption. “There were a few things to do ‘round here, hon,” he sighed. “Things don’t stop just because--”

Rosie was not to be deterred.  _ “Oh, yeah? Dad told me that no one’s even there! And Dezzie!”  _

“Y-yeah?” He fidgeted with his hands in his lap, the leather in his gloves creaking. “I-I just didn’t...Rose…” 

_ “Uh-huh, yeah, sure,”  _ she replied.  _ “Come home, you guys…”  _

Cloud and Denzel exchanged a look.  _ You had the same idea, didn’t you?  _ Cloud thought.  _ To try and get away from the family commotion for even just a little bit. Just to have a little quiet during a hectic holiday.  _ He bit the inside of his cheek.  _ You really are just like I am… _

_ “Hey.”  _ It was Zack’s voice over the line, and Cloud perked up immediately.  _ “Really, it feels empty without you guys around. Cloud…I miss you, babe. C’mon home.”  _

Zack’s voice held a tender quality, and even as Denzel shifted in his seat, Cloud couldn’t help but smile.  _ Ah.  _ “Well, all right,” he said. “Dez and I will clock out as soon as we can…”

He watched Denzel’s eyes shift up, and Cloud glanced behind him. “Oh,” he said. “You too?” 

Yazoo, in the clean, pressed suit of the Turks, had grabbed Sephiroth in his own 1st-class uniform by the arm. They were grinning, while Sephiroth looked tired and less than impressed. “I knew one day I’d have to do this,” Yazoo said, then looked up to Sephiroth. “You  _ know  _ Mom would throw a fit if you weren’t there.”

“I know,” he grumbled. 

_ “Huh? Who’s that? Is that  _ Seph?” Zack asked incredulously over the phone.  _ “Dude, why are  _ you  _ working on Christmas? I thought you would never pass up an opportunity to see your mom.”  _

“I  _ don’t,”  _ Sephiroth stated, running his tongue over his teeth. “I would rather not spend another waking moment in Kadaj’s presence if at all possible, however.”

“Yeah, well, sorry,” Yazoo sighed. “He’s family, you gotta deal with him.” 

“That’s why I’m  _ here.”  _ He flicked his head to toss his bangs out of his face. “I don’t see you dragging Tseng out of his office. Why me?” 

“Because you’re my brother, and I love you.” They giggled and squeezed his arm. “Okay, let’s go, no distractions.” 

Yazoo continued to drag Sephiroth down the hall, their boots echoing down the empty hallway. Cloud heard Sephiroth continue to complain as their voices diminished. “Fine, but can we at least check on my cats before we go?” “Whatever, sure, as long as Mom sees you on Christmas day.” “I was going to go see her! Long after  _ he  _ left…” 

Denzel stifled a laugh, while Cloud returned his attention back to the conversation on speakerphone.  _ “What is  _ with  _ people?”  _ Rosie groaned.  _ “No working on Christmas! I’ll come down there myself!”  _

“No, you don’t have to, we’re coming,” Denzel assured. “Right, Dad?” 

“Right,” Cloud said. 

_ “That’s right,”  _ Aerith’s voice piped up over the phone.  _ “Cloud Strife, you have three partners and two kids to come home to, even if one of them wants to be crazy like you, so get your butt over here!”  _

“Okay, okay…!” 

_ “See, honey,”  _ Aerith continued, slightly off mic.  _ “You just have to put a little more  _ oomph  _ behind it, y’know?”  _

_ “Yeah…”  _ It was Tifa.  _ “I’m not going to tell them what to do, though, and…”  _

Suddenly, Denzel perked up. “Mom?” he said. “Don’t worry. We’re coming home, okay?” He even stood up and picked his phone up, holding it closer to his face. “We’ll see you in a minute.”

_ “Okay, Denzel. See you soon. Love you.”  _

“Love you, too,” Denzel said. 

A second before he swiped across, Cloud piped up. “Love you, too,” he managed. 

The phone beeped, and Denzel slipped it back into his uniform pocket. Then, he shrugged. “They’re...probably right,” he said. 

“Yeah,” Cloud sighed.  _ I think Zack’s the only one who never let that whole “1st-class loner” thing get to him. Well, him, and maybe Angeal. Seph wanted to get away too, but… _ Denzel smiled at him, just enough to show on his face, and Cloud returned it.  _ We’re not alone.  _

_ There are still things I’m trying to shake, even after all these years… _

_ (has it really been twenty years since this all started?) _

_...it’s still a process. But every day, every month, every year, it gets easier. It gets better.  _

Denzel circled around the table, and Cloud wrapped an arm around him as they exited the breakroom, their chess game abandoned on the table. “Ready?” he said to him. “Let’s go home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our original gang is middle-aged at this point, Sephiroth the oldest at 46. Denzel is 25, and somehow got convinced to hover at 2nd-class in SOLDIER. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and happy holidays!


End file.
